Me.

I understand.

I realise.



All these,
They are irreversible.









I will live to praise Your name Daddy God.


For all I Long to do,

Is to worship You.

YOu.

You.

Repeatedly.


Hurt me.


Why?.


Do You enjoy Shouting at me?.



treating me like a Dumb Child Or What?.


I know.

i am stupid.

i am slow.


But I am Me.

Thats how the Way I am.


Stop giving me the "Why Don't You understand" Look.





I hate it.


Everyday.

i have to live with this.


I have to live with this fact that

I am Like that in your eyes.



That I am seen this way in Your eyes.



I am terribly hurt.

but I have to act as if nothing happen.



All i want to do is to trust you.

share with you.


talk to you like How you talk to HER.



I am suffering.

Can't you see?.


You are smothering me.

with Everything.

your words.

Your action.



I am Incapacitate.


I am Tired.


I Have To move on.


I have To go.



Rachel.


I Love You sister.


Thanks For everything.


Really.


I just want to end this as soon as possible.


either face it or Pass by it.

You and Him

I really Hope I can.




I really Hope that You will.

Hee.. Him.

Went to somewhere near You Yesterday.


Was hoping to see You.


Thats How naive I am.




All that I wanted was just a smile or a chat.


Or ask about me...

You.

Gosh...


I Don't know what I am doing anymore...


I don't feel like doing anything at all...


I only feel like sitting and thinking...




I don't feel like thinking about it anymore...




I will run and run and Run and run,

Just to find You.

You're never sorry

All this time I was wasting,

Hoping you would come around

I've been givin' out chances every time

And all you do is let me down

And it's taken me this long baby

But I figured you out

And you think it would be fine again

But not this time around



You don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby,

Like I did before

You're not sorry.





Looking so innocent,

I might believe you if I didn't know

Could've loved you all my life

If you hadn't left me waitin' in the cold

And you got to share your secrets

And I'm tired of being last to know

And now you're asking me to listen

Cause it's worked each time before



But you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby,

Like I did before

You're not sorry.


You had me crawling for you honey

And it never would have gone away, no

You used to shine so bright

But watched our love fade



So you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone


This is the last straw

There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby,

Like I did before

You're not sorry.

Him

I don't understand...





All I ever wanted...


I just...


want to talk to You...


Is that so difficult?...


You don't talk to me...




I looked at You...


Hoping that you would just look back.


and smile.

Crazier For You...

You lift my feet off the ground...




You spin me around...




You make me crazier crazier...



Feels like I'm falling and I...




I'm lost in your eyes...



You make me crazier...

Him

Him...


I don't know...

Why..

Have I done something wrong?..


Why are you making me like that?..

All I ask of You...


Her...


thanks For hearing me out...






Budddddddiieess!=]


Rachel Jie Jie:

Haha=]

thanks For being there for me...

Thanks For listening to me and teaching me...


Thanks So much for Everything...


You are THE BEST!=]


Haha=]




JJJJOOOOAAAANNNNNAAA...


HAHAHA=]

Thanks For listening to me and my troubles...


HAha=]


Thanks For telling me what to do..=]

LOVe ya=]

Him... I love

could you talk to me more...


I just want to talk to You...


But I dont have the courage..


i am afraid that you will reject me of my conversation..


could you just spare me just a tiny winy bit of attention...

All I want...

All I want...


Is just to have you to spend some time with me...

Is just to smile at me...


Give me a pat and say hi...


Thats all i want...


Thats all...

Hope

I am really tired of screaming my lungs out.

trying to get you to talk to me.

Even if its just a heh.

Or a friendly hi or a hand shake or a high five.



Stop.

I have said.

So many time in my blog.


Now is the time to do something.

past...

The feeling that I had is no longer the same.


But I can't ignore.

Vomit

I am sick.=/

Just vomitted 2 times...

dinner's out...=/

Right before my eyes...

Came back from camp...


Super Exausted...


And Totally in pain...





I didn't want to hear.
I didn't want to see.
I didn't want to say.


During the last Session For the camp,

When pastor Chris was praying...


I felt a sense of Uneasiness...


I opened my eyes...

I saw Her.

I saw Him.


A sudden surge of Hurt flooded my heart...

I knew its that.


I knew that if i don't find my exit by now,

I will suffer...


I will...

Find My exit...



Her.

I have tried.
I really did.

You chose to act like that.

I gave up.
I am tired...

You might just be glad when I found my exit.


Him.

I changed everything.

Reverse everything.

But You still hate me.

The look,

The Tone,

The expression.


When I see...

I can't Ignore...

I want to ask why.

I want To know what happen.

i am never of a value to you.

Just a person where you can vent your lacks on.


I am sick,

I got sore throat and Fever for the second day and the tired day sore throat.


But You can't see,

Or should I say selective see-ing.




I tried.

I tried.

I tried.

And I tried.



I gave up too.




fourth day was great as after the camp,

Me, Rachel, Benjamin, Chek Yen, Amanda, Cexun, Girwina, Glenn and Joanna went to Eat PIZZA HUT!=]


=]

Chek Yen!=]


Haha=]

This camp is the first time that we talk so well=]


Hehe=]

Hope to see you tmr at agape Dinner.


Then after that we went Back to church to play awakening III!=]

Benson, rachel, Joanna and think benjamin is in one group.


Then me glenn Girwina and Amanda one group.


haha!=]

First round we won!=]

Weeeeoooeeeettt!=]


Then Abel and Clement and Alex came back to church.

Then they also played.

We played all the way till 5pm.

Then we started playing Awakening II!=]


Haha=]


It is the version 0.01.[Alex says]

Haha!=]

super fun...








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love of Man will always fail.

No matter who,

What.

But Love of God will never Fail.

No matter what.

Dream

Awakening camp DayZ Zero!


And I am still at home...=]

Haha...

Cause the reporting time is at 10am...

So i'll Laxz Around...


Excited!=]

Awakening...

Tomorrow's the Camp day zero...


And I am going!

Yay!=]

anyway...

I think I am like very excited...


Cause its like my first time being the group leader...


roar....


Excited...


Yah...


And I even came up with a group name and a group cheer le...


efficient right!=]


haha...


super Excited for tmr...

Heard its going to be lots of fun!=]


I am All packed and Ready to go=]


Roar!


XCampx Awakening1=]


Here I come.!=]


haha=]XD

Stopped

Well...

God, Since this is Your will...

Lord, Let Your Will Be Done...



Lord...

Thank You For Giving me so much things...

You Bless Me more than enough...



Thank You Lord..


Lord, I delight In You...


I Find Joy In You alone...


And Nothing Else...

Climax

Its reaching the climax...


I don't know what will happen...

The eye of the Needle

Why?..

I dont understand...


Why are there people around me who knows and I Dont even noe?..


Thanks Allison, For giving me an idea, about the Angel.


I don't want to be in the Dark...


I dont know what will happen...


I am really...